Ham’s Journal

12.20am 14th June 2007.

"Time To Remember What is Good in Life"

Its been quite awhile since I last wrote my last blog entry. Life has been very complex and interesting for me in the last few months. Ever since March 10th, i have been on the high of enjoyment right till the depth of sorrows but yet i know this is part and parcell of life.

In one fatefull week i had the greatest pinnacles of joys all in front of me, and it felt fantastic and in one single moment as i sat there in my car on a Friday night.. everything to me then was taken away from my mindset. To me at that time, when i realized that reality in life can be very painful, when people can just take you for granted and just do the painful things in front of your eyes without any care in the world. WOW!!! it blows your mind away and then i started to realize, sometimes we as individuals just ’see’ what we want to see. and sometimes we as individuals can just be so impulsive and act on moments of emotions at the spur of the moment. I went through a sudden spiral of events which i am neither proud of nor can i say i would like to remember. Stupidity clouded my judgement… and for what? Sometimes certain sacrifices in life might not just be worth it if they are not appreciated.

Ok thats the past, we cant change the past but we can learn from our mistakes and look forward to the future.

Sometimes you believe what you want to believe and any given time of your life, there is bound to be moments when you feel that the world is against you.

Recently one of my Bestest Friends- A Brother got married and during the whole marriage weekend, it made me believe even stronger than TRUE FRIENDS STICK BY YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!! Trust me when I state that for i firmly believe that. The whole group of us OLD BEST FRIENDS had a ball, a great time, a fantastic weekend and a picture moment to last for all eternity. I wouldnt have missed that weekend for the world.

Currently, deep down inside i am feeling very very sick. I have not been this physically unwell in a very long time but yet i push myself along and live life on the edge. I need to prove to myself and those who doubt me that I am worth something in this lifetime.

I have the confidence to do it. I have the mindset and skillset to do it. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS BELIEVE THAT NOW IS ONLY A SLIGHT A BLIP!. for the future which is tomorrow will hold something new and I know and have faith that something better will come about.

It feels good to write all of this.. but now i sincerely feel that we should live life happy. There are bound to be people out there who wont care about us, who wont even turn back to say ello (ever since March 10th) but then again.. there are bound to be your family and bestest of friends who will always believe in you no matter what. Forget the ignorant no-gooders. Spend and focus your energy on your family and trusted friends. Positiveness grows, negativeness from entities who want to put you down, who forget you and who have NO TIME for you can be forgetten. Its time.. its time for the Ham to Bounce Back once again

As in the motto of my fav club, YOU WILL NEVER WALK ALONE.

PS : btw, i am one of the few who thinks that Pirates 3 is better then Shrek 3 i think. and to all footy fans out there… its going to be a loooong 3 months till August until EPL starts again.

PSS : My back hurts like krazy once again… old injuries just wont go away.

Good nite and i leave you with this quote..

" The Brightest of Stars will ONLY SHINE in the Darkest of Moments"

so trust me.. when the time comes when you feel is the darkest and everything seems dim and gloom, that is the opportunity to shine and rise up to the highest mountain top.

PSS : sometimes.. its good to forget the old pains and the rememberance of moments which hurt.

Good nite from Ham